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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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So, I roll into Meadela, right? First thing I notice is the vibe. It’s like this mix of old-school charm and modern hustle. You got the cobblestone streets, like Rua da Liberdade, that make you feel like you’re walking through a postcard. But then, bam! You hit a café with Wi-Fi faster than my brain can process. Crazy!

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